Before I get into what I am about to say, I just want to reflect on my intentions for this blog because I was kind of lost for a minute. I was more concerned about catering to the readers and making content for other people to read but that was the wrong direction to go in. It makes in not genuine. And whats crazy is you can really tell the difference when its not. I was thinking like "Do people even read blogs anymore? What should I talk about?" but literally the entire reason I made this blog was for me, not for other people. And those who relate to it will relate to it and if not well...okay. I just needed to gather myself real quick but Im back.
Support System(s)
Very important. More than you know. I realized that quickly in my young adult years.
I used to struggle with insecurity really bad around the time I was a freshman and still do a little to this day but not as bad as I did back then. I used to have like mini anxiety attacks and everything. I was just lost and had no sense of direction when I came to anything. Really, around that time I wasn't doing anything special; just going to college and I had a job. But that is still SOMETHING, you know? At the time I didn't think like that. I never really tapped into my skills or my attributes or the very cool things about myself or things that I am good at until recently, like last year (2017, Im not about to say 2 years ago because It's only the second day of 2019). I didn't notice it until last year but I had it in me all along??? Whats crazy though, and I tell people this all the time, I had a significant confidence boost in 2017. I can't tell you what it was. All I remember saying all 2016 was "I don't know why but 2017 is going to be life changing for me" and it was. I didn't experience anything traumatic, something just CLICKED. It's like I noticed it and people around me noticed it and I started earning people's respect by how I carried myself. People started treating me how I displayed myself, like a bad bitch. LMAO...but no for real. Fast forward to the present and I got great things going for myself. I have a lot of new hobbies that I really enjoy; even hoping to turn them into crafts/a career. With trying anything new, you have to take a leap of faith. Obviously because it's something new to you, you're not going to know what to expect so you just have to be like "f*ck lets do it". So that was me from 2017 until now and one thing I felt like I was missing was SUPPORT. I was desperate for support or at least a little encouragement just because I'm not sure what I'm doing at all. My family definitely lacks in the encouragement department, which sucks because those should be the main people backing you up. Hell, even some friends don't support me as much as I would like or at least reciprocate that same amount of support. There were two things I realized from that:
1. I have to be my own support system. I have to pat my own self on the back because 2. I'm going on a whole new path that has never been touched before. My purpose is different from anyone else so really how can someone give me advice on it when they or even I don't know.
I could let the lack of support discourage me or I could channel that lack of support into fuel to keep going. I really have to carry my own self on my back and sometimes its hard but nobody else got me like I got me. No one else is going to look out for me like I will (and GOD). Those people that do support me, though, I appreciate y'all more than you will ever know. It's always good to have somebody in your corner.